Today I visited an old friend from my past. I decided to visit this person because of all the frustrations that have built up over the last four years where I took on the responsibilities for another person and it burned me. I should have known that taking on another’s responsibly is never a good thing. It doesn’t help me or the other person. It doesn’t help me because I am doing things that don’t help me grow in the ways I need and it doesn’t help the other person because I am taking away their growth experience.
The person I visited I haven’t allowed to an influence in my life in about 7 years. They were a destructive, but fun part of my life that I had to leave behind to move toward the things I really wanted. That person is my alter ego. My alter ego is a dick and just does things to be a dick. I know they are always there for me when I need someone to be a dick but I don’t allow them in my life, well not until last night. I have avoided them but in the last few weeks the frustrations have just been too much and “alter ego” has decided to help me teach someone a lesson.
Don’t get me wrong, I like my alter ego. They help me do other things but I don’t visit them enough to allow them to take over my attitude. I learned a long time ago that they were destructive and had a mean streak. Since our last life attitude visit, I have been happier in my life and know my real desires.
I love being a father, husband, writer, entrepreneur, photographer and all around cool person. Well when old Alter shows up I don’t have the concentration needed to be successful.
I like people in my life that empower me and I have to continue to connect to those people, even if it means giving up those people or alter egos that I like.
I have such a good relationship with Alter that it now asks if I am sure that I want to visit him. Funny even the most hateful side of me know I am more productive without him in my life.
This morning I learned something more about myself. I am happy. I like where I am going but I do need people that can push me and help me improve. Though I have never had a real life mentor I have been able to get a ton of positive information from books, videos, audio and internet sources.
I also learned that I have to focus on my thing and help others along but not do it for them. That takes too much energy.
I know what is right for me and even though I had a nice visit again with Alter a few hours ago we both know that our life will be better if we part ways before someone gets hurt. That someone will be me because the wrong attitude will only help me to miss the opportunities I desire.
My advice to myself.
- You found a way! Let others do the same.
- Help, but don’t parent adults.
- Remember your desires in life. Don’t let someone get in the way.
- Also know that I can be a burden to others. Continue to work on self.